Stop Muggin'

What is happening in the black community?   All communities for that fact, or is it just that I left the Southwest- where people still had respect for one another? For example, anytime I leave my home in California and I happen to be in the same proximity of a black man (my age, younger, older- whatever) they seem as if they want to "mean mug", or stare at me rudely.I think to myself “wow, really? This is how we are going to treat each other?” But I still pay my homage and respect. I still make eye contact, nod my head, and say “what’s up”. It is not like I believe that we should stop and have a conversation, but we should respect one another.


 As a Communications Major, I understand the importance of human communication. Both verbal and non-verbal communication is very important in any situation.  I feel as if we have lost respect for one another as black men. We always treat one another like we are in a rap video or some characters in a gangster movie. What happen to community? What happen to respect?


As long as we continue to stare at one another in a way that is disrespectful we will do nothing but continue the destructive behaviors that are in our community. I have spoken about the dangers of our music, one form of communication. But we also have to examine the devastating actions that non-verbal communication plays.


Non-verbal communication is the way that we dress, the way that we walk, how we look at each other, and how we stand.  All of these things give off certain cues. These cues can be either positive or negative, but the fact remains, we are giving off these cues all the time, and it is dangerous if every identifier is negative.


I was heading to the store in my small town and three young black men were walking by. Not only was there a police officer making his rounds- driving slowly, but it was a nice night. I made eye contact with all three of these young men and in return they started to “mean-mug”.  These kids, with their clothes falling off and their plastic snap back hats were all wearing the uniform of the new house Negro.  This disrespect really shocked me.

As I left the scene, I was a little upset at the reaction from these three young men. I thought to myself, that their parents were failures because they did not teach their children respect. I believe that it is important to respect your elders. But we need to take this a little further and respect one another.

By walking around and staring at one another like we want to get into a fight is not good for our health. I do not think that white people walk around exchanging stares and starting fights with one another. I am not sure about this completely but it does not seem to be the case. This little cultural habit is something that bothers the hell out of me. Most of the people that should be reading this probably are watching a fight on social-cam right now, and believe that their actions are a part of “being black”.

So please black men, next time you see another black man, do not put on your movie face, or your video mask, and just pay respect. There is no need for us to continue this harmful non-verbal behavior. This behavior is being taught to our children, and we need to stop the mugging so that we can overcome the crumbling of our community and remake our cultural norms.I am sure that there are many things that we can agree on and many changes that we can make if we work together. But our actions create nothing but division amongst ourselves. It is no longer necessary for “the man” or any other organization to lynch us, or segregate us; we do today by our own free will.

There is power in numbers, and with as many brothers that are searching for opportunity, there is plenty of it if we work together. I am sure that this mean mugging is not happening everywhere, but where it does happen it needs to stop. There is no need for violence amongst us; our struggles with society are often hard enough. There is no need for us to place more obstacles in front of ourselves.

This is not only to avoid the extinction of a race, but to help our children have better lives as well. Our children often act, talk, and walk, like the people that raise them. There is no need for us to continue to spread this type of nonsense to the youth, our future. Look, I am not asking for a whole conversation, just respect. If we continue to mean mug one another this just shows the lack of respect that we have for ourselves.     

Be a Mentor: Because Kids Need More Thank Just Milk and Cookies

Everyone needs someone in their life to help them reach their goals and often find those hidden skills that are tucked away deep down inside. A mentor is something that all of us can be, no matter what we do for a living. There is always someone out there that needs a little guidance and help. I have spent years helping people around me. I had a mentor that showed me the importance of music and also how damaging some negative music can be to our society. This individual was a father figure to me and unfortunately, is no longer here to see me showcase my skills to the rest of the world.

Becoming a mentor is one thing that we can do to make this a better world. There are always Big Brother and Big Sister programs that are searching for individuals that have the time to spend with the youth. This is a great program but some individuals do not have the time to attend this type of structured mentoring program. Some churches also have mentoring programs that can be helpful, but issues that I have with programs that are dependent on a belief structure is that those views are often forced fed to the individual that is being mentored.

Why is mentoring so important? We live in a world that is dependent on a particular skill set to earn a living. We live in a country that has lost control of our media, the same media that bombards our children with their agendas 24 hours a day. It is important for us to share the stories and experiences that we have been through so that our children do not make the same mistakes we might have made in the past. Helping someone achieve their goals is the best feeling in the world. It is important for us to help create a country that is filled with individuals that are bright and can avoid the mistakes of the past.

The youth look to adults to figure out how they should react in certain situations and they depend on us to teach them how to survive in a world that is forever changing. We all have something to share with another individual. Our educational structure is failing our children and it is up to the parents and the citizens of America to educate our children. There are children that are just roaming the streets while their parents are working two jobs and do not have the time to raise them anymore. Parents are sometimes consumed by the materialism themselves and have often allowed the glowing box to be a mentor for their children.

I am not suggesting that you gather up the little children in your neighborhood and feed them cookies and milk, but rather engage in conversation that will help them make the right decisions. The youth in America are asking for help. You can tell by the music that they listen to, the televisions shows that they enjoy and the increase in teen-pregnancies. We all complain about the world and how it is failing apart, but what are we doing to make it better?

Become a mentor to a person at work and show them how the business works. Mentor a family member that may be dealing with issues and needs another perspective on life. All of our experiences are only random acts if we do not learn from them and share them with others.