Just Another Ordinary Day- NASCAR, Cannibalism, and Wal-Mart

How did we get here? - To the point of no return.  Ignorance seems to climb the highest peaks, and intelligence seems to sink beyond the horizon.  I mean really, a woman pulls a gun on a Wal-Mart clerk because they wouldn't take her dollar-off internet coupon.  

A Woman in some random place (that must be filled with trailers) sold her child to a man with the intent to make explicit home movies.  The child was only 18 months old.  And a bird landed on a top of the smokestack of the Vatican- and it is fucking sign from GOD.

I have spent that last few weeks studying Literary Theory, and reading material from the late 1800’s. And to tell you the truth- nothing has changed at all. I feel like Marlow on that Steamboat chugging up the Congo surrounded by cannibals. Only the cannibals that I am surrounded by… eat themselves. 

They slowly nibble away at themselves and it seems as if they've figured out a way to deal with pain and get others to join in. I mean, really- it’s a family affair.  “Are you done with your ear, son?” 

My daughter’s teacher (or some non-English speaking assistant) spelled socks as "sox" on this week’s homework packet. 

The NRA hijacked NASCAR in Texas. Because there is nothing like carrying a clip with 500 bullets as you recite Bible verses.  The NRA 500 is very fitting actually.

America got beat by a third world country in a game they created! More proof that years of giving orders and watching other people doing labor equates to the lack of physical abilities.

They say they've found the GOD particle by smashing things into one another.  And since GOD is just a particle that gives things mass, I guess we will have to wait for another Big-Bang for him to return! And you thought 2013 was a long wait!

New York was told that there is at least 16 ounces of Freedom left (or at least soda). And Republicans have cloned some Latino that believes the bullshit they feed the rest of their poor brainwashed followers. You can tell that he is a clone because clones need more water than real humans. They hope after midnight they can produce more Spanish speaking clones so America can get the next Pope.

Some clown in California wants to build an island or a floating city 12 miles off the Californian coast (technically in international waters) so that highly qualified immigrants can magically create start-ups. Well, since our children think that socks are spelled “soxs”, I'm sure these start-ups will hire a bunch of legal citizens. 

A woman, whom you may have heard of, from Facebook, must have amnesia and forgot that her degree has an Ivy League college on it. In others words- women, don't “lean in”,… “buy-in”.

Of course, I'm not perfect.  “Son, pass me that finger, I’m hungry.” I watch men with chiseled bodies in tight pants run into one another and play with balls. I have spent the last 72 hours watching millions being passed out like Halloween candy. 

I wonder if life was really that bad in the 1800s. It probably was better, except for I would have been Django pissed off about what happen to my white wife. Or I would have been in the house, cause manual labor is not for the intelligent.

But I bet they couldn't “Harlem Shake”.  It would have been the Congo Shake. So next time you go to Wal-mart with your dollar-off coupon for bullets, just make sure you leave your gun at home. 

And can we please stop posting angles in the cloud made by Photoshop. And stop posting that fake car dealership prank. We are eating ourselves and slowing dying.  There will be nothing but computers left standing- like the Pyramids. And the Next species will wonder how we let such a wonderful world go to waste!!!!!

Here a Cheat, There a Cheat, Everywhere a Cheat Cheat

Why do we act so surprised when athletes are caught cheating? Cheating seems as if it is a part of the American culture. Right there with those slices of apple pie. Cheating seems to run rampant; everywhere I turn I see or read about cheaters- People cheating the tax codes by putting their cash in overseas accounts or those little radars that warn us when the police may have set up a trap.  Cheating vs. cheating; reminds me of those old Spy vs. Spy. comics in Mad Magazine.

There are all forms of cheaters in our current society. Women cheat when the undergo plastic surgery and increase their breast size, or change their noses- the beauty of cheating Mother Nature. Some would say that it is not cheating, but I hate to break it to you… it’s cheating.

I am glad that I am married, I would hate to be in the club and have my eyes on this hot chick and then later on when it is time to get down to business, all of sudden this beautiful lady takes off her Victoria Secret push-up bra, removes her inflated undies, and then takes off her wig. Wow, wouldn’t you feel cheated? I know that I would.

But we demand that people cheat. I mean, how empty would the stands be at sporting events if we watched the average sized human compete? We are cheated by the owners when they put a mediocre product on the field, and still charge us outrageous prices for beer, hot dogs, and the Grand Daddy cheat of all times (drumroll please……) parking.

Teachers are caught cheating giving their students the answers to test, students are caught cheating sharing the answer to these test, stats cheat because they can, and the government cheats us out of our hard earned money. There have been journalists that have cheated by making up fake quotes and stories. Race car drivers cheat in order to win races, and of course these people get penalized, but that is after the fact.

I do not like cheaters at all, but I understand it. It makes perfect sense. In order to be number one a majority of people have to cheat. It sucks when you find out that you are just mediocre at best. Instead of finding what we are good at, we decide to cheat the systems. Music producers cheat with programs such as Fruity Loops and all of these magical advances of technology.

It really sucks when you attend a live concert, and the artists are horrible and are doing nothing but singing over a track- another reason I hate attending big concerts. Because in reality, all I am doing is looking at the people lip synch for a hundred dollars.

With Melky getting busted for 50 games because of cheating, I am not surprised at all. The outrage by people was rather funny in my opinion. I mean, what did they expect? Do they really think that these people are not on some type of dietary supplement, or some other substance created in the lab. Cheating is big business in America.  Want to kill a bunch of people? -just cheat use a drone.  Want to lose a lot of weight? -get surgery.  Want to live like a king? -cheat and work for the government or the school district and cheat the children, and citizens when you retire.

People cheat at video games by buying modified controllers. I cheat the advertisers by watching recorded television and skipping commercials. Bootleggers cheat the artist by selling copies of movies before they are out of the theater. Hunters cheat animals by feeding them and then killing them.

Simply put, cheating is called an advantage in our society. But I do have a simple solution for this type of cheating in sports. LET THEM TAKE WHAT THE WANT!!!! Yes, I said it.  Let them take whatever they want, and deal with the physical repercussion. Of course we should keep these things out of the hands of children. But I would like to see who could cheat the most. I would love to see a baseball game score of 50 to 25; it might make me even buy season tickets.

It would also free up some air time and we could watch more highlights instead of listening to people talking about other people who cheated. Of course this is not good for our society, but what is in this current day. But do not be surprised that athletes cheat; it is a part of society, and a huge part of sports.