Y’all Some Greedy %@&!... A Few Social Networking Tips

            Alright, it seems as though Fackestock, oops, I mean Facebook, has turned into Myspace. But let me give some of you artists a few social networking tips.

First tip- if you want anyone to buy something from you, you should probably refrain from addressing these same people as “bitches”, “hoes”, or “suckas”, and using the words: “I am better than you”, “the movement”, “without you”, “get your money right”, etc. Why?  Because it seems as if your “movement” is not moving anywhere, and a “bitch” is not going to buy your product, “hoes” are too busy working, and “without us”, you are not being social, and my “money is alright” in my pocket.

            Second- stop posting the same bullshit over and over again, that is called spam. Unless you have 1300 new friends today, I am sure that the hundred or so people that live next door or in the video have seen it already. We all like looking at ourselves but damn, this is not promotion, it is more like social bullying. Also, there is a little button that allows people to hide your post, and after the 15^th time of you posting the same grannie video they most likely used it, I know I did.

            Third- make an original product. There is such a thing as creativity; it is a skill that most entertainers, writers, and poets have to have. Except if you are a model and are only blessed because your parents happen to have sex one night in the restroom of a club.  Originality is what will set you apart from the thousands of other rap, trap, hustle groups that are out there starving but swear they swaggin.

            Fourth- take that shit to Twitter. Yeah, learn how to Tweet- you can spam them fools all day, and they seem to like it. Twitter has a different breed of humans that gather around the digital water cooler. They live to follow you no matter where you go, you can even use your followers to repost you bullshit.  But there is a catch, it better be good.

            And last but not least- learn to brand yourself properly. Make sure that you identify who the hell you are and what you want to be and do it to the fullest. There are many people out there that realize in order to make money they have to make a product that has an identity, it is called branding. It is like when you see the red and white can you know it is a coke, and the can with blue is a Pepsi.

            Social networking is just that- being social. If you want to cram your shit down someone else’s page, you should also learn how to share others shit. It is kind of like when we were in elementary school and you sat in the corner cause you would not give up the toy.  Right now most of you are holding onto the toys too long and being greedy.

Simpler, Quicker, Dumber: The American Zombie

Is it me, or is everything too easy? With just a few keystrokes you can find just about anything. No longer do you have to search for material at a library, read a book, or even write you own paper in college (as long as you have some left over money from binge drinking). Even commercials express the ease of life with their easy button.

This new easy lifestyle has even been forced upon my favorite game of all time- Madden NFL. I should have known when the back of the case stated that the new Madden 2011 is “Simpler. Quicker. Deeper.” I use to like searching for the next play that I was going to use to exploit my opponent. But now they have this option to let the computer pick your play. WOW- never mind actually playing the game, just drop your money off at the store, unwrap the game, and watch the pretty graphics unfold. On the outside of the box it should say “No Skill Needed Just an HD TV”. I understand that this is some new option and that I can still pick my play, but did the public really want this?

What ever happen to the good old American way? Does anyone still believe in working hard for something? After all, it is the only true way to appreciate what you have. Life has become too easy and our children will fall victim to it. We are breeding the new American Zombies. Traveling in packs- snatching up the latest products that feed us radioactive rays that are eating away at our brains. That’s right, some sort of Zombie creation that is product driven, without the capacity to do the simple tasks in life.

Let us explore some of these recent trends. GPS applications. No need to know how to read a map or know what street you are on, just follow the blue dot. Can’t follow the dot? That’s OK, just listen to the computer voice! Then when you arrive at your destination and find the only parking left is the dreaded parallel spots, no worry! Your car will park itself perfectly for you! Now you need to find a place to catch a good meal, well there's an application for that as well! It can even count the calories! Forget about finding that cool hidden hole-in-the-wall. Just pull up your friend’s reviews on Yelp! or Foursquare! Don't know how much to tip? There is an application for that too! Now who will join you at this fine dining establishment? Can’t find your friends? That’s ok, you don’t need to actually call them anymore, just check out their new GPS enabled Twitter Feed! Oh- there they are!

It is too easy to get married, then divorced, to have kids- or eliminate them. It is too easy to fail high school and get a G.E.D. It is too easy to sue anyone for anything. It is too easy to become a left or right wing nutcase without examining the issues with any critical thinking skills. It is too easy to access credit, create debt, and then wipe it away for seven years. There is no accountability in a majority of the things that we do in life and it only seems to be getting worse. Is it because we have decided to push the easy button too many times?

So the next time you plan a trip maybe investing in an actual map might be a good purchase. Besides, this may help for streets and neighborhoods that may not be on MapQuest yet. Try reading a book from cover to cover and those college credits might really be earned. Life is getting easier and the damage to the human brain is not yet understood. Will our brains start to shrink? Will we become more dependent on collective thought rather than our own? I see a future that includes a nation of American Zombies with nothing but barcodes because reaching for our wallets takes too much effort.