How to Stop a Bully

My daughter mentioned to her mother that there was this one little girl in her class that was bothering her. There was a little girl that continued to tell her “to pull her pants up”, or would act like my daughter pushed her so that she would get in trouble.

We were both shocked by this but knew that our talks with our children paid off. The fact that she was telling her mom that she was getting bullied was the first step. With all of the recent news stories and young children taken their lives, it was important that we laid the ground work and allowed for them both to communicate with us if this happened.

So a few weeks ago on a Monday afternoon I picked my daughter up and I could tell that there was something wrong.  I always get out the car walk across the street and get my children.

My daughter was holding her arms as if something happened. I asked what was wrong and she gave me a hug and said “nothing”. Little did my daughter know, I knew more about the bully then she thought.

I asked her again and she said that the little girl hit her with her backpack. I was like, alright, now it is time to speak to the teacher. My daughter started to tear up and said “no daddy it is ok”.

 I told her “no this is not alright and it should be dealt with and now”. I approached the teacher and in great detail told her of what was going on in the classroom.  The teacher looked surprised as if she did not know what was going on in her own classroom.

 After I informed the teacher I took it a step further and walked to the office and asked to speak with the principal. The principal was not available but I informed the secretary, the most important person in the whole school, and she informed my daughter on what she should do if it happens again.

Once we went home it was like I had a different child. She told me that she loved me and that I saved her life, of course I thought that this was overboard, but in reality in her little world I did.

 I felt like a super hero, an Avenger of some sort.  And I think that my daughter understood that my role was more than just a caretaker but a protector as well. She was excited that the issue was dealt with.

 I did not think that it was the end of the story. I took the time to explain to her that little girls often get jealous because of what another girl looks like, and their own insecurities often lead them to becoming bullies. Or the fact that they are taught how to be bullies by their parents. Training starts at home, and I have raised my children to respect others, and not to be rude or disrespectful to other children.

The next day when I went to pick her up from school, she was happy and smiling. I had my happy little girl back. She told me that her teacher sat both of the girls down and that the little girl admitted to her wrong doing, and apologized.

 She said that after the teacher told the girl to stop, she did. Now if I did not get out of the car, and if I was not paying attention, I would not know what was going on in their lives.

As parents we have to do more than just pick them up while we sit in the comfort of our car. We have to watch their actions, be in tune with their emotions, and be their voice. There is no reason for children to be killing themselves because of being bullied.

 I know that for some families they do not have the luxury of being there for their children, but we have to ask them questions and if there is something going on get to the bottom of the issues and quickly.

If your child is being bullied make sure that you document it talk to the teachers and let your child know that they have the right to defend themselves no matter what. The defensive mechanism should not be with violence, but with their voice.

 It is a shame as a society that our social ills have been handed down to our children at such young ages.

 It is a shame that a child is no longer a child, but rather some accessory that we make do things to make us feel better or to present some false image.

I had another friend that had to deal with the same issue. Her child was being bullied as well. It was great to see her take control of the issue, we have to take control. I know that school is about to be over, but make sure that they are not getting bullied in camp or any activity that they may be involved in.

 And let your children know that in life there are losers and winners, because if we continue to let them have false victories, when they really fail, they may not be able to handle it.  

And thank you to The Freshmen for allowing me to use their music.