Y’all Some Greedy %@&!... A Few Social Networking Tips

            Alright, it seems as though Fackestock, oops, I mean Facebook, has turned into Myspace. But let me give some of you artists a few social networking tips.

First tip- if you want anyone to buy something from you, you should probably refrain from addressing these same people as “bitches”, “hoes”, or “suckas”, and using the words: “I am better than you”, “the movement”, “without you”, “get your money right”, etc. Why?  Because it seems as if your “movement” is not moving anywhere, and a “bitch” is not going to buy your product, “hoes” are too busy working, and “without us”, you are not being social, and my “money is alright” in my pocket.

            Second- stop posting the same bullshit over and over again, that is called spam. Unless you have 1300 new friends today, I am sure that the hundred or so people that live next door or in the video have seen it already. We all like looking at ourselves but damn, this is not promotion, it is more like social bullying. Also, there is a little button that allows people to hide your post, and after the 15^th time of you posting the same grannie video they most likely used it, I know I did.

            Third- make an original product. There is such a thing as creativity; it is a skill that most entertainers, writers, and poets have to have. Except if you are a model and are only blessed because your parents happen to have sex one night in the restroom of a club.  Originality is what will set you apart from the thousands of other rap, trap, hustle groups that are out there starving but swear they swaggin.

            Fourth- take that shit to Twitter. Yeah, learn how to Tweet- you can spam them fools all day, and they seem to like it. Twitter has a different breed of humans that gather around the digital water cooler. They live to follow you no matter where you go, you can even use your followers to repost you bullshit.  But there is a catch, it better be good.

            And last but not least- learn to brand yourself properly. Make sure that you identify who the hell you are and what you want to be and do it to the fullest. There are many people out there that realize in order to make money they have to make a product that has an identity, it is called branding. It is like when you see the red and white can you know it is a coke, and the can with blue is a Pepsi.

            Social networking is just that- being social. If you want to cram your shit down someone else’s page, you should also learn how to share others shit. It is kind of like when we were in elementary school and you sat in the corner cause you would not give up the toy.  Right now most of you are holding onto the toys too long and being greedy.

Drones

Not only do I hate drones when I am playing Modern Warfare, but to imagine the police department, border patrol, and any other government agency using these things is upsetting. I can image little red dots surrounding us while we are attending a public event.  We are living in the age of digital espionage.

 Our government just said that they hacked into terrorist websites and did some rearranging of things. But many Americans have no clue that terrorist have the capability of hijacking these little toys and gather intelligence.

Would the founding fathers believe that this was acceptable? I would not. Of course there is the ideology that if you are not doing anything wrong that you do not have anything to hide. Yes I understand that, but when do we draw the line? When do we have a say in anything that goes on in our country?

Because a little drone flying over my head is an invasion of privacy. I am sure that if the terrorists could hack these little things, a 12 year old could do the same. It is rather sad that our society has turned into one that is so worried about who won America Idol that they have no clue on what is really going on.

Freedom is gone, vanishing, while our men and women that have vowed to serve and protect, toss their medals back. Veterans struggle to find employment, the media is in bed with the government, and big business can do whatever it wants.

This is not a conspiracy, this is reality. The government reads our tweets, Facebook posts, emails, and can even see what movies or books we are reading. This is not freedom, this is the opposite of freedom. This is control by law. Our current president has killed more people with drones, and created so many laws against his own citizens.

A Digital Police State is what we live in today. This information is not used just to sell products and services, but rather to have control over the people. While most of the country has engaged in the witch hunt because of Obama-care, the real issues should be our civil rights, and freedoms. They are gone.

Of course some may say that this is the price that we must pay for being a part of the digital age, but packet sniffing, reading emails, and developing viruses, is something that should not be allowed on the general public. Has any of this stopped the children of our country from getting kidnapped?  Has any of this information stopped a robbery or carjacking?  Of course not.

It is not us that they want to protect, but rather themselves and their goals. But a drone flying over our own skies is ridiculous, and unacceptable.  In Texas they plan to arm these drones, with tear gas, and rubber bullets. Oh great, this is wonderful.

This is how they play us. First they let us fly one in a video game, and then they want to introduce it to the public. Is the government really at war with its own citizens? And what is going to happen when one of these drones is hacked? Is the government going to deny responsibility for the lives lost?

See my argument or concern is simple, I post what I want on Facebook because I know that this is being viewed. I blog want I want because I know the laws and what is appropriate under the freedom of speech, but when I am being under surveillance while I might be eating with my family in my own home we have some serious issues.

We need to understand that fear is how we are being controlled, we are slowly losing any concept of freedom, and they are watching everything we do. And I mean everything- connected or not. Look above you- that little dot might be watching all your moves. How about they use these drones to deliver some food or water to the homeless people, or better yet keep them in the military…, or is this a war on American citizens and our freedom? 

Why I Do Not Support the 99%

            The 99% is really worse than the Tea Party. At least the Tea Party understands how the system works. Raise money, find people that support your ideology, and push forward in the political arena- not the streets. But when I see grown men and women destroying mom and pop shops, trying to bait the police into conflict, and making life miserable for the rest of us, they have to go. 

            Yes the banks screwed up, but so did deregulation, tax breaks, the prison systems, and a failed educational system. The people have to take responsibility as well. Our current system has a bit of socialism in it, but it is not like Cuba.  We do not stand in line and wait to get bread.

            I see protestors with ipads, backpacks, and gas masks, acting like they are poor and struggling. But the reality is even the poorest people in our country live better than any other country. Capitalism is a system that has built a wonderful empire, but there is a time to pay up. The credit card bill is due, and the interest is adding up.

 There is a time to pay taxes, and get rid of the cuts for all of us. It is time to stop spending more than any other country in the world on arms and military. In 2010 the Department of Defense’s budget was $680 billion. And that was more than Obama even requested by $16 Billion. Wonder who had their hand in the cookie jar?

But then when we look at education there is a huge discrepancy.  In 2010 we were ranked 12^th among industrial nations and educational spending. Yeah that is right, the so called number one country in the world is ranked 12^th out of a list of 16. But the numbers get even worse.  “Out of 34 countries, the U.S. ranked 14^th in reading, 17^th in science, and 25^th in math”. Even though these numbers are from 2009 I am sure that there has not been a huge acceleration in this area.

Enough with stats- but this should lead to a better understanding of why the 99% think the way that they think. We are not teaching to a level that allows our young people and adults can make the proper decisions, and read the small print.

We have raised a country that is searching for the fast way out, a nation that thinks those that have made it should be punished. By no means am I rich.  But I do understand that it is not fair to allow for those that have made it pave the road for the rest of us. But rather the rest of us buckle down and mash out.

In capitalism you have those that eat, and others that get eaten. This is how the system works. The only way to beat the system or be a part of the system is to be educated, and informed. Start your own business, hit the library, and do not wait for handouts, because we are broke, and the 99% is bringing us closer to the third world status than they can imagine. It is not about socialism, handouts and punishing those that have made it. But rather taking responsibility and fixing our country, not breaking windows and relieving ourselves on police cars.  

Dear Rap (a.k.a Hip Hop)

Dear Rap (a.k.a Hip Hop),

            I would like to say fuck you. You have lied, killed, and pillaged your own community. While you promised to change our lives you have done nothing but destroy them instead. You are the reason that little children believe that it is cool to show their underwear, you are the reason why young men believe that it is a better option to kill a man with a silver bullet, instead of find a solution. You have destroyed the same community that you were supposed to build up.

            We are like the wives that you cheat on while you are at the after-party. But see, you can’t play me like a bitch. The jig is up and I am breaking up with you. While you steal beats, play killer, and make more mix-tapes then the octomom pushing out kids, I have decided- it is time for you to kill yourself.

  Your bullshit has slowly been fed into our nervous system, and is now eating away at our brains. No longer are we humans, but zombies. Zombies sporting snapbacks and tattooing our faces like the primitive man on the History channel.

            It is like a black chick with a blonde wig and fake eyes wondering why I am with a white chick; it is bullshit. Why have you let us down? What have we done to deserve to get spit on and shit on at the same time?

Public Enemy told you that they were scared of a Black Planet, Nas has told you what it feels like to be a gun. Did you not heed the call and take your place at the top. Or is your own greed for material, worth selling the people out? I know that sometimes you know what is right and you often show some glimmer of hope. But that hope has faded like Kid-n-Play haircuts and Salt-N-Pepper in our diets.

I would rather sport polka-dots and attend a Pajama jam, compared to sucking the dick of Tupac, who had more personalities then Terra, on Showtime. What is so real and so hard about selling dope? What is so real and so hard about driving a European sports car on lease?  

What is hard is getting an education and raising a family. What is hard is doing what is right and telling the people the truth. Our children are dying in the streets. And you are the new individuals in white sheets. The rap game Klu-Klux-Klan, throwing fake money in the air during videos, parading daughters around like hoes, and you wonder why we are dying from Aids, and living in poverty.

Mr. M.J told us to look at the man in the mirror, Marvin Gaye even told us there are too many of us dying. Why isn’t hip-hop, rap, or jigabo music saying these same things, or asking these questions? Simply because you don’t give a fuck about us anymore- all you care about is you.

Do you see the same face when you look in the mirror that was there when you first started? Or did you say fuck it like Anakin Skywalker and believe the dark side. Do you realize that the blood on the street is also on your hands? So when you see a young black man or woman lying dead on the street- that is of your doing. No longer can the blame be placed solely on the white man.  We distribute this poison on the internet, out of the trunk of cars, and on social media.

And to the overused and overstated excuse that “we give the people what they want”- Yeah whatever.  I call bullshit.  The people can only consume what you feed them. So hip-hop, rap, and jigabo music, I have filed for a divorce, and no longer will be a puppet. I will demand that our children, my children, do not emulate you and aspire to be like you. I would rather listen to fucking whales at the bottom of the ocean, compared to a bunch of uneducated minstrels on the sidewalk begging for handouts.

Music is a form of expression, not a tool to continue repression, depression, and segregation. We had an opportunity to be real Kings and Queens, but now you are no better than the white men in white hoods… only with a black face.  

Capitalism Has No Ethics

While the world is caught up in bra straps and a mother’s right to feed her child, the media is missing an important story- the loss of ethics, period.

 There was a gentleman that felt the need to cash in on the death of Trayvon Martin. So he drew a little picture of what could be considered a representation of a teenager in a hoodie, including the skittles and ice tea, and turned them into paper targets… as in shooting targets.

These paper targets sold out in two days. I was upset, and posted a link to an article on my personal page. These paper targets got me all in a whirl-wind. I felt frustration and some of my personal opinions on race and ethics were put on trial.

The final verdict is that capitalism has no ethics, and this is something that I have to come to terms with. Is it unethical for a product like this? Of course it is. But there are many unethical products that we could demand be pulled from the shelves.  Exploiting people and events for profit is not a new concept.

If you think about it, there are many unethical products that are on the market. The music that we listen to, the clothes that we wear, the movies that we watch, and a whole list of other products that we consume in huge numbers. And think of all of the people who made money off of 9-11 propaganda and products.

The idea of ethics has been removed from capitalism.  Is it unethical to test animals for cosmetic products?  One side would say yes and one side would say no. Is it unethical to subject children to the moral decisions in the Hunger Games? Children being killed in front of audiences, and the ability to define when it is justifiable to kill a friend to be with your family are two moral dilemmas that are brought to the forefront of this series. But ethics are thrown out the window for entertainment.   

Even with the Trayvon Martin case there are tons of products on EBay that are being sold related to the issue. Are they morally correct because proceeds are going to the family, or to the defense?  

            Both sides are wrong, but the fact remains that a young black teenager lost his life, and there are tons of adults collecting money and cashing in. So of course there is going to be a white guy that takes it a step further, and cashes in as well by creating a paper target.

There is nothing stopping a person from making a paper target of a fat white guy in a NASCAR shirt. There is nothing stopping a person from making an application that allows for people to grow hemp and sell it. So morally we are fucked because capitalism is what drives our empire.

There are no morals, just dollars, and no sense. This is what we have come to. The black community can’t comment when they cash in on the same unethical practices. It is all fair in capitalism, and we wonder why our society is slowly destroying ourselves. I support capitalism, so I have to forget what is moral or unmoral too, I guess.

Think outside the Circle

We always hear the saying “think outside the box”, but I am not a square so I would rather influence those to think outside the circle. The square friends that we often surround ourselves with often do not allow for us to grow. They do not allow us to shine, and often cast a shadow upon or dreams, and smother our possibilities.

I am a huge advocate of the internet, and bridging the digital divide and stopping control of the internet. The printing press is now the internet. The internet allows for the user to express their emotions no matter how trivial, controversial, or just plain boring.

But if we notice that our circles of friends agree with everything and do not challenge us or bring something new to the table then we are missing out on life. It is like a bird that feeds it’s young. We are being forced feed regurgitated food, and swallow it all even if we do not like it.  

We need to act as equal opportunity employers. Muslims need to eat with the Christians, the Atheists need to speak with the Catholics, and the Jews and self-proclaimed Spiritual should toast Mazel tov, and watch the fireworks. If we continue to surround ourselves with the same circle nothing will ever change. Nothing will ever get done.

I try to expose myself to people from different points of views. It is like walking through security at the airport, it is all out there, out in the open. We all have something to share. Something to leave behind, before we are buried and eating by bugs, burned to ashes and put on a shelf, or stored on top of others in some plush horizontal wall with a plague and our names.

I enjoy politics, it is better than a Soap Opera, or a reality show. They lie, steal, cheat, and then cheat, steal, and lie. It is amazing that what they do is allowed.

I was raised in a small town, but enjoyed big city life. San Francisco was my backyard. I started to understand the world is different in a way that I could never have imagined. I witnessed real poverty, true racism, and a whole bunch of other subcultures. I had friends from every walk of life. I knew people that lived in big homes and had it all and others that had to be street performers, in order to get their next meal.  

This difference of friends and people and the fact that I lived in many different places offered me the best experience in the world. The one thing that I have taken from all of my experiences is that we all have something to offer. We all have something to give to the world. And in order for us to reach our goals, not only do we need new strategy. We need to develop a society that is connected. Not just connected by wires, mobile devices or social networking sites but really connected. We do not have all the answers but if we work collectively we can find some solutions.

Think outside the circle because we are not square. If all of your friends are black, of course you do not know what interest others and the struggles that others face. If all of your friends are white, of course you think it is easy, and that there is no reason for others to struggle.

 Our politics, interest, and hobbies, often influence us so much that we do not even read what we disagree with. We act is if the child that does not want to eat their vegetables, but now that we are grown we can just toss them in trash.

Connect with others even though they may not have the same interest. I have friends that are old enough to be my parents and others that are young enough to be my children. These relationships have taught me a lot.

 Make those connections; make this world a better place by our actions. We need to pass down the tradition of the human being. The tradition of being social, kind, and compassionate to one another, because that is what will take us there.  

If we want to return to a world that is in balance instead of being unstable we have to connect with one another.

 Even though our ideologies might collide, let us understand them so that those fragments of truth can create a circle not a square. A circle flows freely, a square has dead-ends.

“Every generation needs a new revolution”   Thomas Jefferson 

Yeah I want the job, but you need what?

            Jobs, jobs, jobs, we all know that there are millions of people that are looking for work. There are many that will subject themselves to anything just to put food on the table for their family. But when do we draw the line on what information we are willing to give up for a job?

            How about your W-2 form? Yes that is correct companies want to see your W-2 form. While people are out protesting the banks, and the corporate greed, companies are figuring another way to divide and conquer.

            There is no need for a company to have all of this information unless they are going to use it to figure out what they can pay you, and what tax breaks they can get. There are many steps of the employment process that have done nothing but shut the door on those seeking employment.

            No matter if it is a drug test, criminal background check, password to a social networking site, or your D.N.A- when do we draw the line? I can see that some of this information is necessary to employ people in some positions. But I think that these companies are taking information gathering too far.  

            Have you noticed the decrease of your friends on Facebook? It may be because they are looking for employment, and Facebook is the best reference in the world. The pictures of you holding a beer, or chomping down on that Big Mac, may be the reason you did not get a call back. Or the fact that you like Obama or support Romney may also lead to you not getting a call back as well.

            Work ethic, education and experience should be the key decided factors when one seeks employment. But no longer are those the only factors that will decided if you get the job. Now things such as health habits like smoking, being overweight and political affiliation are starting to play a role in the hiring process.

            Corporations are people, and these people are starting to use their moral beliefs to make decisions on who is employable and who is not. Of course corporations are looking for people that fit their culture, but when companies start to ask for a W-2 form all this leads to is a whole lot of mess. A very hot mess that that is melting the American dream.

            No matter how much I support education to pull people out of poverty, I do understand that institutional racism runs rampant in our society. The new High School, a Bachelor’s Degree, is often the first qualification along with 5 years of experience. This is great for those that are graduating this spring.

            We do not draw line when we allow for athletes to get drafted after they have several drug charges. Or Corporate Executives lie on their resumes, like Yahoo. But I do think that we should draw the line when it comes to our taxes, when the job is not related to sells at all.  

            I do believe in some sort of privacy, but when do we draw the line?

     

             

 

Niggas

Dumb niggas can’t understand smart niggas

Cause dumb niggas continue to be dumb niggas

That want to be rich niggas

But don’t understand that smart niggas

Don’t sell drugs to or shoot they own niggas

While fat niggas eat food made for niggas

They want to be skinny niggas

But sit on the couch and hate on niggas

While skinny niggas chase fat white niggas

To reproduce mixed-up crazy blonde head niggas

And wonder why black power niggas

Hate on mixed up niggas

But black power niggas don’t know they're not full nigga

They too are mixed up niggas

The white niggas hate the black niggas

But listen and dress like the black nigga

And wonder why now they can’t get a job nigga

See let us keep it real nigga

No matter what, we all niggas

Broke niggas, made niggas

A bunch a niggas getting played like niggas

Slave trade niggas hustle hard and starve niggas

Get white powder and sell to niggas

Buy shoes not made by a nigga

Sport headphones not made by a nigga

But always swear that we hard niggas

But deep down we know that we soft niggas

That’s why we call the trigger nigga

There is also brown niggas

Yellow niggas and cannot forget those white niggas

The ones that make six figures niggas

Why we live on plastic and play action figure niggas

Better yet food stamp fast food niggas

Yeah that’s right I wrote the word NIGGA!

How to Stop a Bully

My daughter mentioned to her mother that there was this one little girl in her class that was bothering her. There was a little girl that continued to tell her “to pull her pants up”, or would act like my daughter pushed her so that she would get in trouble.

We were both shocked by this but knew that our talks with our children paid off. The fact that she was telling her mom that she was getting bullied was the first step. With all of the recent news stories and young children taken their lives, it was important that we laid the ground work and allowed for them both to communicate with us if this happened.

So a few weeks ago on a Monday afternoon I picked my daughter up and I could tell that there was something wrong.  I always get out the car walk across the street and get my children.

My daughter was holding her arms as if something happened. I asked what was wrong and she gave me a hug and said “nothing”. Little did my daughter know, I knew more about the bully then she thought.

I asked her again and she said that the little girl hit her with her backpack. I was like, alright, now it is time to speak to the teacher. My daughter started to tear up and said “no daddy it is ok”.

 I told her “no this is not alright and it should be dealt with and now”. I approached the teacher and in great detail told her of what was going on in the classroom.  The teacher looked surprised as if she did not know what was going on in her own classroom.

 After I informed the teacher I took it a step further and walked to the office and asked to speak with the principal. The principal was not available but I informed the secretary, the most important person in the whole school, and she informed my daughter on what she should do if it happens again.

Once we went home it was like I had a different child. She told me that she loved me and that I saved her life, of course I thought that this was overboard, but in reality in her little world I did.

 I felt like a super hero, an Avenger of some sort.  And I think that my daughter understood that my role was more than just a caretaker but a protector as well. She was excited that the issue was dealt with.

 I did not think that it was the end of the story. I took the time to explain to her that little girls often get jealous because of what another girl looks like, and their own insecurities often lead them to becoming bullies. Or the fact that they are taught how to be bullies by their parents. Training starts at home, and I have raised my children to respect others, and not to be rude or disrespectful to other children.

The next day when I went to pick her up from school, she was happy and smiling. I had my happy little girl back. She told me that her teacher sat both of the girls down and that the little girl admitted to her wrong doing, and apologized.

 She said that after the teacher told the girl to stop, she did. Now if I did not get out of the car, and if I was not paying attention, I would not know what was going on in their lives.

As parents we have to do more than just pick them up while we sit in the comfort of our car. We have to watch their actions, be in tune with their emotions, and be their voice. There is no reason for children to be killing themselves because of being bullied.

 I know that for some families they do not have the luxury of being there for their children, but we have to ask them questions and if there is something going on get to the bottom of the issues and quickly.

If your child is being bullied make sure that you document it talk to the teachers and let your child know that they have the right to defend themselves no matter what. The defensive mechanism should not be with violence, but with their voice.

 It is a shame as a society that our social ills have been handed down to our children at such young ages.

 It is a shame that a child is no longer a child, but rather some accessory that we make do things to make us feel better or to present some false image.

I had another friend that had to deal with the same issue. Her child was being bullied as well. It was great to see her take control of the issue, we have to take control. I know that school is about to be over, but make sure that they are not getting bullied in camp or any activity that they may be involved in.

 And let your children know that in life there are losers and winners, because if we continue to let them have false victories, when they really fail, they may not be able to handle it.  

And thank you to The Freshmen for allowing me to use their music.  

     

Really Mitt, Really...

            With the Presidential election in full swing things are going to get interesting. Numbers are going to be twisted and turned, dogs will be eaten, and transported around the country on top of cars, and the 99% and Tea Party will clash at Starbucks.

            As I woke up this morning I was faced with the most hypocritical dude in the world. The Harvard MBA Graduate said that he was responsible for the return of the American Auto Industry.

Really, Mitt, and you also killed Osama Bin Laden. You jumped out the helicopter and placed the perfect shot to the head, which eliminated the bogie monster.

            Mitt, the American people have done more to repair the American Auto Industry then we get credit for. I see more American made automobiles on the road than ever before. I personally bought a new American made car, I have also bought American made aftermarket parts. These are all ways that I have personally played a role in the America Auto industry.

            The engineers, the workers, and the general public have an understanding of why it is important to buy an American car. Even Obama has played a role by increase gas mileage, therefore making them more competitive with foreign cars. Ford has plans to release their new generation of Mustangs on a global scale.

            This is the problem with a guy that when to Harvard and has a MBA, you are too smart for your own britches and believe that others not in your Alum have no clue. That is not the case.

            Did you forget there is a thing called the internet, and that your statements are cataloged and ready to be used against you before your complete your sentence?

 Mitt let me keep it real with you, shut the fuck up. Every time you talk, you do nothing but shove your foot down your mouth even further.

 Soon you will be on display at the wax museum for being the most flip-flop candidate ever. You standing next to a Cadillac with a pair of green flip-flops, I will commission it myself.

            And the sad part is there are a bunch of people that are standing behind you and supporting you. It is not because of your values, or your connection with the public. Obama is not even connected to the people, with his million dollar book deals, and plush childhood in Hawaii.  But rather the conservative party has one goal to overthrow the black guy, who is not really black at all.

            Mitt you said that we “should let Detroit go bankrupt”.  Let us read that slowly. LET DETROIT GO BANKRUPT. The conservatives can spin it anyway that they want to, but the fact remains that Obamas plan worked.

            President Bush was the one that allowed the first bailout, but I guess your forget that most of these bailouts were started by Bush and then they had to be continued by Obama. No matter what the plan worked.

            So Mitt please do us all a little favor. Tell us how you are going to do to fix our current problems. “Looking backwards won’t solve the problems of today” straight from your mouth. So why do we teach history in our schools? I would have to disagree. History teaches us that we can overcome obstacles such as civil rights, interracial marriage, and even has allowed women to have a greater voice in society.

            This is the issue with some conservative, they would rather have us go back to the days of slaves picking cotton, and women at home taking care of children.  

            Tell us your bold vision for the future. Is it to fire all of those in Government that are doing nothing? Is it to give an education bailout, to those that have worked hard for their degrees? Is it to stop fighting a war that sole purpose is to expand the empire?

            Come with a plan and take a history class, because you will learn the deregulation is the reason that we are here. Oh yeah and how is that elevator working for you?

I Used to Want to Be...

I use to want to be a rapper, but then I learned that I could write.

I use to want to be a teacher, but then I learned that they struggle.

I use to want to be a politician, but then I learned they all tell lies.  

I use to want to be a service man, but I learned the country cares less.

I use to want to be a lawyer, but then I learned law is not just.

I use to want to be a businessman, but then I learned they are paid salaries.

I use to want to be a clothes designer, but then I learned they employed children.

I use to want to be a photographer, but then I learned so did everyone else.

I use to want to be a graphic designer, but then I learned they created software.  

I use to want to be a doctor, but then I learned they can get sued.

I use to want to be a farmer, but then I learned they pay you not to grow.

I use to want to be a minister, but then I learned they keep secrets.

I use to want to be a mason, but then I learned they do not share knowledge.

I use to want to be black, but then I learned that I was white.

I use to want to be white, but then I learned that I was still black.

But I finally found out what I wanted to be, I learned I just wanted to be me.

             

Son, I Am Not Your Father...

            The day that I found out my father was not my father was a day that I will never forget. The windows were rolled down and I was in the passenger seat. The smell of chronic was filling up fast and I was feeling a little strange. My father said, “son, I have something to tell you”. I was waiting for the ultimate surprise.

            Maybe we were going to take a family vacation, or maybe a new pair of shoes was stuffed in the trunk. But the world slowed down, and the words seemed as if they came out even slower “I am not your dad”. What! I thought to myself. You are not my father? I have been living a lie for the last 15 years?

 From that day on, I was never the same. I never looked at my mother, my sisters, or anyone around me the same. I felt as if I did not belong. That I was stuck in some twilight zone- and I was screwed. I was glad that a man stepped up and was there for me and took the responsibility of trying to raise me. He did a great job in some areas and could have done better in others.

           I did not want to know this at all. I would have rather believed that he was my father. This is not a little white lie like Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny, this was a huge cover-up. It was worse than Bill Clinton and the stains on that dress. It was a totally elaborate scheme that fooled everyone.  

            My mother lied to me. The one woman in the world that I was supposed to be able to trust was nothing but a liar. How could the one person that carried me inside her body for nine months not tell me the truth? The more I thought about it, the more that I continued to rebel.

            As I looked at other men playing with their sons and daughters I wondered if that was a lie as well. My last name was not mine. I was not a Harris, I was an unknown. But what difference did it make? It made a huge difference in my life.

 I had a connection with my Grandmother like no other. When I was young I would sleep in her bed, and she would read to me at night. She provided the shelter over my head and was the reason that I had such a beautiful ocean view outside my front door.  And this unknown man took that away from me because he said “it was making me a weak little boy”. How could love make me a week little boy? Love never makes anyone weak- only stronger.

            Besides my mother, my grandmother was the only real biological connection I had in the home. Now I knew why I was treated differently compared to my sisters. Now I knew why I would get the heavy end of the rod, and they would only get yelled at. It started to click and it all made sense.

            I was damaged for a long time, and that damage lead to some serious mistakes being made in my life. I have overcome those difficulties, and have grown into a man, that knows how important the role of a father is. On this day both of my biological children received student of the month at their school. I study hard, and push them even harder because I know that is my role.

            To all of the mothers, step-mothers, fathers and step-fathers, make sure that you tell your children the truth. The truth is what establishes how our lives will turn out. There are no little lies, only big ones that can destroy a young child that may never be able to recover and believes that lies are used to protect. But the reality is they only destroy.